A few boxes remain, but 11 days to Christmas, we put up our first big family Christmas tree. Earlier in the week, the girls and I decorated the little "tree from storage", but I looked forward to the idyllic family finding and trimming of a real (Frazier fir if you ask me) Christmas tree. Sickness struck Naomi mid-week, so the magical-in-the-mind-of-Tara cutting of the tree was out and Daddy going out and acquiring a tree was in. And he did *awesome*. The Papi has equally rigorous taste when it comes to conifers and I adore what he brought home.
Now before you think I'm about to paint an entirely quintessential, Rockwell-esque time of holiday cheer, know that we were shown amazing grace in experiencing a truly joyous trimming our first family Christmas tree, in our first house. 'Cause let me tell you that the stresses "of the holidays", of being in a new place, of starting a new job, of being "big kids now" out in the real world, playing with real money, and negotiating all of that between the two of us, have made themselves apparent.
A not too scary, holiday example: I spent 3 hours in Target Saturday. Now you'd think the un-fun part would be the crowds, but really, it was Santa. Yep, the whole to Santa or not to Santa debate. Deciding if we do Santa, what does he give? We don't want Santa to be cooler than Mom and Dad. Then there's striking the balance of wanting to celebrate the birth of Christ by giving gifts, but not go overboard and create toy-mongering children. Not the best place to ponder all of those things, but so it went. At home Kurt and I chatted it out, but we're still not sure how to address the story of Santa. Previously we've said things like, "Santa makes all the toys, they go to Target, and mommy and daddy give them to you," and "Santa is a story," and we don't say anything reminiscent of you better watch out, you better not cry.... Olaiya sees all the Christmas, rather, Santa, episodes of her favorite shows, and she's an observant one. She knows the reason for the season, but I'm pretty sure she'll have the thought, "I guess I'm not a good girl" if no gift presents itself from Santa. I don't recall when/how I found out that Santa wasn't real, but we still always enjoyed the anticipation of Christmas Eve. So my question is this: What did your family do growing up? Or for the parents out there with kids old enough to field the late December, random person question of, "Did Santa find you this year?" what are you doing/did you do? We'd love to hear...we're only 8 days out!
5 comments:
Tara and Kurt,
I'm hoping that my sons will reply with what they remember. I've found that what I remember sometimes doesn't jive with what they do!! Perhaps that's the first point - do the best you can. They'll remember what they want! Anyway, realizing that answer will offer no help at all, my recollection is that we acknowledged all the Santa stories, but always sort of with a wink of the eye, if you know what I mean. Children are usually smarter than even their doting parents think they are, and I believe that they can accommodate the idea of Santa with all the magic he connotes AND realize in their hearts and brains that the magic is really in their family because Christmas is the time that can (we hope) bring out the best in us. It's the time when we do special things almost daily, when we have special music, see special people, and when everyone tries to be their very best selves. Santa is meant to be part of all this specialness, and he is a reminder that there are rewards for being good to other people. Those rewards are sometimes in brightly wrapped packages that we open for ourselves, but they're also in the packages that we give away. Maybe the trick is to convince our children and our adult selves that we can all bring Santa magic to every day. Somehow I think this can blend with the real reason for the season, which is not magic at all, but a really true story of a real baby and a real Father who wanted to give a really special gift to us all.
Okay, I'm kind of making myself gag on all the Hallmark sentiments here. I would say encourage the girls to believe that Santa is what we all should be for each other. And tell them to leave him cookies, and that they should be cookies that Daddy will like.
Karen
well, we've told our kids that santa came about because a man (St. Nick) long ago that used to help people and give gifts to those less fortunate and now it's a tradition to carry on that idea...We've had to go further recently and tell them that all the mall santas are really just 'helper santas'....We also don't stress Santa; Usually their biggest, coolest gift comes from us, and then Santa fills stockings and gives them one gift each.
I have heard of other people giving their kids three gifts, symbolic to the 3 gifts presented by the wise men....and so as not to have toy madness Christmas morning/eve or whatever. We've also made a birthday cake each Christmas night and sing to Jesus.
we're in the thick of it as well, but just a few ideas.
This is a neat idea. It's fun to hear what other people do and how they celebrate through their family traditions. As far as for me:
I don't remember when I realized Santa wasn't real, but since I had an older brother, I probably wasn't too old. I don't think my parents tried real hard to make him real, but they kept up the suspense with a wink and a nod. We usually went to church on Christmas eve or had a nice Christmas Eve meal if we were at my grandma's and then opened presents at night. Before we opened presents, though, we always read Luke 2:1-20. (It got to be a privilege to read it and my Grandma had to write who read each year in her Bible). Then, we went around the room from oldest to youngest (including adults) taking turns opening presents (one at a time, each). We usually had about the same number of gifts which were relatively small. Then in the morning, Santa usually brought a really cool gift and filled our stockings with candy and knick-knacks.
I'm pretty sure your kids will learn to not be toy-mongering through your day-to-day parenting and not just how you handle Santa. But, as an adult, I can now appreciate the way we began each Christmas Eve reading about the reason we were celebrating and how we had to take turns opening the presents. Looking back, that's what I think was important to me, and not whether Santa (wink, wink) gave me a better gift than my parents.
As a parent I think I am leaning away from Santa, for many of the reasons you listed - the real reason for the season, avoid toy mongering, having your "goodness" associated with what gifts you got etc... But fortunately I don't have to decide this year. =)
Santa was ruined for me by my older brother when I was fairly young (4 or 5) and even then Santa just filled the stockings. Each of us received only one gift from each family member and gave only one gift to each family member. The shopping for each other was more emphasized than the getting was. Then the one year all we got was a box of McD cookies with a 20 dollar bill for underwear, they were financially trying times for my parents but truly I remember them as "good." I didn't know any different and I don't remember missing what I couldn't have. I think regardless of what you do the whole of their childhood will determine their heart, not whether or not Santa came to their house.
PS I hear some people refer to it as a harmless game - such as the tooth fairy, easter bunny and paci fairy? Pretending is part of a young child's every day life. In the end I truly don't think there is a right and a wrong only what works for you and your family.
My recollection matches up pretty well with my mom's. I remember Santa being on par with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny--there was a definite "wink, wink" feel to it. I don't ever remember really believing in Santa, but it was a fun to pretend he was coming the same way it was fun to pretend I could fly.
We had the tradition of opening most presents on Christmas Eve, and all of those were from family and friends. The next morning, Santa would come and fill our stockings with candy and some toys, but the big stuff was usually from Mom & Dad the night before.
Izey's a little young for us to be worrying about this yet, but I imagine we'll do the Santa thing more as a game than as something serious. I think Jill hit the nail on the head when she pointed out that pretending is a part of everyday life for kids. They can jump back and forth between the real world and a host of imaginary ones without any sense of contradiction, and that's age-appropriate. As they get older, they reason and ask questions, and the childish stories get categorized as such.
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